The Most Underrated Form of Self-Care You're Not Doing

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Have you ever had an incredible retreat, event, or conversation… only to feel like a week later it never happened? We move through life so quickly, we can barely process and log all our experiences. Think about it—when someone asks you at work, “What did you do this weekend?” You have to pause, think about it… what did I do?

I am definitely guilty of this. Life is so packed that I’m moving from one event to the next, one lunch date to the next, one trip to the next. It’s a treadmill that just doesn’t stop.

However, this year I’ve been trying to get better at not just slowing down, but actually baking in time to integrate.

The Difference Between Rest and Integration

I’m not just talking about rest time… I mean integration time. And there’s a big difference:

• Resting = turning off my brain, doing something mindless, passively watching TV, taking a nap, etc.

• Integration = deliberately making time to reflect. What lessons have presented themselves? What opportunities or obstacles have I encountered lately? How have I handled them?

Why Integration Is Non‑Negotiable

It’s easy to skip integration and say you don’t have time. Most of our nervous systems have been conditioned for urgency, productivity, go-go-go. We invest time in things that give us immediate results, validate our egos, or give us dopamine hits.

I used to live like this too. My nervous system was so jacked up, haha. Sitting still to meditate or practice mindfulness felt boring, even uncomfortable. My whole body resisted because it was so used to running at 100mph. But when we don’t pause to digest our experiences, we end up having to repeat lessons we’ve already learned.

It’s like cramming for a test, dumping it all on the exam, then forgetting it the next week. No real integration, just information regurgitation.

Are You Living on Autopilot?

Many of the people I work with are disconnected from themselves, their futures, and their essence. They’re on autopilot, wrapped up in earthly duties and materialism, missing the invisible meanings of life: love, connection, creativity.

• Are you connected to a vision for your life?

• Are you intentionally creating something?

• Even if it’s just cultivating a constant state of joy… do you think about that daily?

• Are your decisions aligned with that vision?

• Are you listening to how life is trying to speak to you?

Most people aren’t. We let the old programming run the show, replaying life like we’re watching a familiar episode on repeat.

A Simple Integration Practice: The Weekend Debrief

Let’s make this practical. Imagine you had a social marathon weekend: birthday dinner Friday, graduation party Saturday, brunch with the fam Sunday. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

To integrate that weekend, carve out 30–60 minutes to reflect. Ask yourself:

• What brought you joy?

• Favorite moments?

• Was there any friction? How did I handle it?

• What would I do differently next time?

Then, journal it out. Dump all the stuff your busy, conscious mind is holding onto. Go for a walk. Touch grass. Starfish on the living room floor. Play some calming music. Let it land.

Embodying What You Learn vs. Just Repeating It

When we integrate, we don’t just talk about our growth; we embody it. We’re taught in school/work to learn cognitively: read, repeat, regurgitate. But rarely are we taught how to live what we learn.

Let’s say you attend one of my workshops on mindful communication. You’re hyped. You tell your bestie everything you learned about the 8 dysfunctional communication patterns. She’s impressed. You’re in your mindfulness era. Yass queen!

Then… your mom calls, guilt-tripping you. You snap, emotionally react, just like a teenager.

Clearly, the lesson hasn’t landed yet. You haven’t embodied it. And that’s okay, this is why I have a job, haha. But here’s what we should be doing after we attend the workshop we were telling our bestie about:

• Take notes at the event.

• Revisit those notes after.

• Ask: What part of this hits home right now?

• How can I implement this?

• What does it look like in my life?

• Set a goal. Check in two weeks later.

Is this how it usually goes down? Nope. A more accurate depiction is...

You take the notes, feel good, maybe reread them once… and life pulls you right back into the routine, the responsibility, the autopilot. Unfortunately, very little changes. I get it, I’ve done it too. But these days...I'm way better, and it’s because I plan integration.

Discipline Creates Spaciousness

I literally block off time on my calendar. I remind myself not to stack my schedule. And you know what? Future me always thanks past me. I’ve never looked back and thought, “Ugh, I wish I didn’t give myself that downtime.” But it takes discipline. You’ll be tempted to fill that space with stuff. That friend you haven't talked to in a while will invite you to dinner. Your brother will call to ask you to babysit the kids. Something will come up, and I want you to notice the urge to say YES. The urge to deprioritize the commitment you've made to yourself (the integration time). Watch the pattern, observe it, what is it showing you?

Your 3-Step Integration Practice

This week, I invite you to schedule time to integrate. Everyone’s process is different, but the common denominator? You must SLOW down.

1. Pause for Processing

Capture the raw experience while it’s still fresh. It’s quick, casual, and intuitive. Maybe it's a:

• A voice note in the car after an event

• Jotting down a few thoughts

• Letting it land before it’s buried

Goal: Catch the “emotional residue” before it fades and you forget the juicy details

2. Make Meaning

This step is about reflecting on the experience intentionally and connecting it to your life, values, and patterns. 

• A journaling session

• A deep convo with someone you trust

• Ask yourself: Why did this hit me? What does this show me about myself?

Goal: Turn the raw moment into usable insight.

3. Embody the Shift

This step is about living the insight, even in a small way. It’s intentional, doable, and grounded in everyday choices you make.

• A post-it note on your mirror with a mantra or new boundary

• Saying “no” where you usually say “yes”

• Adjusting your calendar

• Having that honest convo you’ve been avoiding

Goal: Turn reflection into real-world action. Because insight without embodiment? Just theory.

You wouldn’t eat five meals in a row and expect your body to digest them all instantly. So why do we expect our emotional and spiritual meals to be any different? Let it land. Let it change you.

I can’t wait to see how your life shifts with just a little more integration.

P.S. If this resonated with you, share it with a friend who might need this reminder too. And when you're ready, here’s how we can work together:

1. Private Coaching - Two spots are currently open for July!
2. Mindless to Mindful Courses  - Take your learning deeper by embodying the teachings with courses, 2-week challenges, workbooks, meditations, and live calls with Melanie each month!
3. Leadership Training - I'll create a customized workshop for your team to better enhance their communication and emotional intelligence, teaching them to become better team members and leaders.