You Don’t Need a New Year’s Resolution (Do This Instead for 2026)

There’s research that shows most of us fall off our New Year’s resolutions by early February. People will tell you it's because you didn't have structure, measurable goals, or accountability. I think these statements are both true and false. Yes…structure, clarity, and accountability matter. They’re incredibly supportive when you’re trying to change behavior.

But even with all of that in place, there’s still one thing that can quietly sabotage your best intentions.

Your invisible values. 

What Are Invisible Values?

Invisible values are the priorities shaping your behavior that you’re not consciously aware of. In other words, you say X is important to you…But if we observe your life, your time, your energy, and your choices, you consistently choose Y instead.

Not once. Not accidentally. But nine times out of ten.

For example:

• You say you value rest, but you keep saying yes to work when your body is exhausted.
• You say you value connection, but you avoid hard conversations and stay emotionally guarded.
• You say you value health, but you’re in a constant state of stress and eat poorly.
  
  

Why This Happens (and Why It’s So Human)

As humans, we are almost always moving along two invisible levers: pain and pleasure. We move toward what feels rewarding. And we move away from what feels threatening.

There were long seasons of my life where I genuinely believed I was honoring my values.

In my mind, I was aligned. But if you looked at my body, my calendar, and my nervous system…there was a different story being told.  I wasn’t intentionally lying to myself. I was disconnected. Many of us are. What I didn’t realize at the time was the values driving my choices weren’t conscious. It was coming from old conditioning that used to keep me safe. But now, all those invisible beliefs and behaviors were quietly limiting my growth.

2025 Wasfor Shedding (Year of the Snake)

This was a year of deep reflection for me. I did less that was visible to the outside world and more that nourished my inside world. I published less content this year. I made less revenue. I booked less gigs. But...I made more meaningful relationships. I spent more time writing. And I invested more into experiences without specific quantifiable outcomes. 

Overall, in 2025, I spent less time with people and more time with myself. That space gave me room to sit with all the unusual “puzzle pieces” I was handed this year — moments, experiences, and insights that didn’t immediately make sense. Many of the experiences I’ve had these past 12 months go beyond what my analytical, academic mind could comfortably explain. It was the kind of year that forces you to confront this truth: 

The world is not only made up of what you can see, touch, and measure. There is an energetic “field” you’re in relationship with every day. And the quality of that relationship is deeply influenced by your emotional world. Because how you process emotion will shape how you experience life.

For most of my life, I lived in survival mode: hyper-vigilant, armored up, ready to defend at any moment. And when you’re in that state, there’s very little room for vulnerability, presence, or emotional processing.

Living this way once kept me safe. But over time, it cost me the subtler things in life — love, expansion, and freedom. This year reminded me there’s another way to live. 

Two Modes of Moving Through Life

What this year solidified for me is something I’ve been circling for a long time: 

When you truly change your beliefs, thoughts, emotions, and patterns… you change your energetic signature.

There are two primary ways I see people move through life.

The first is a push-based frequency.

• It’s organized around survival and scarcity — hustle, urgency, and the constant sense of “not enough.”
• It’s fueled by fear — worrying about what might go wrong.
• And it relies heavily on control — forcing certainty where none exists.

Our culture conditions this mode into us early. It becomes so familiar that we mistake it for normal. But it isn’t the only way to live. There is another mode, one that operates through a pull frequency rather than force.

• A state rooted in trust, releasing attachment to specific outcomes.
• Honesty: developing awareness of ego and pattern.
• Presence: meeting life as it unfolds rather than bracing against it.

I’m not asking you to bypass reality or pretend life is easy. I’m inviting you to acknowledge that how you move through the world shapes what you experience in it. We don’t attract what we want. We attract what we are a vibrational match for. So it's worth asking:

What were you a vibrational match for in 2025?
What do you want to be available for in 2026?

You can do this by simply looking at the emotions you frequent. Your emotions are energy in motion. A bat signal out into the Universe about what you’re available and not available for. And don’t worry, if you don’t like the current signal you’re sending out, you can change it. It requires only one thing to start…being honest about what’s actually happening inside of you.

You Can’t Alchemize What You Won’t Admit

This might be the most important thing I’ve learned: If I’m not honest with myself, I can’t alchemize anything.

• I can’t shift a belief I won’t name.
• I can’t process an emotion I keep suppressing.
• I can’t trust myself if I’m constantly overriding my inner voice.

This year was about peeling back yet another layer — releasing deeper self-doubt, strengthening self-trust, and learning to trust the source of my intuition… even when my analytical mind “wanted proof.”

And to be very clear:

I’m still uninstalling old conditioning of self-doubt, anxiety, and scarcity from my inner operating system. Some days are easier than others. Some days I feel deeply anchored, others I feel a little shaky.

But I know this with certainty: I’m headed in the right direction,  even if I don’t know exactly where I’m going. And that’s new for me. To feel safe enough with myself to sail into uncharted territories. To know I have my own back. To know I have a tribe of people I can turn to when I feel lost. And if you’re still in search of your tribe, don’t worry, they will come. My journey was lonely for a while and then my people showed up in the most unconventional ways. Stay open, stay positive.

Instead of Creating Resolutions, Do This.

Get honest about what’s holding you back. Get clear on what values will take you where you want to go. So instead of asking “What do I want to accomplish?” I invite you to journal on these questions:

• Where am I living from old conditioning?
• What truths am I afraid to admit to myself?
• How would my life change if I trusted myself a little more?
• What values do I need to embody the highest version of myself?

Because deep clarity doesn’t come from effort and strategy. It comes from truth. And truth only emerges when the relationship you have with yourself feels safe enough to look in the mirror.

As We Step Into a New Year…

Learn to love the questions, learn to love the detours, learn to trust that there may be a better outcome than you can imagine right now.  You don’t need to know exactly where you’re going. You don’t need to control everything. All you need is a deeper relationship with yourself, and the rest will be revealed to you as you walk the path. So keep walking, keep trusting, and let the Universe pleasantly surprise you.

Happy New Year. Wishing you more love, compassion, and trust in 2026.